Updated: Nov 14, 2022
As we continue to renew the heart, I've been encouraging you all to get close and personal with Jesus. Coming to reality what exactly Jesus did for us and what it truly means to you. Today is Good Friday and it is such a BIG DEAL! This morning as I meditated with my Abide app, I was lead to experience, hear, and see just how intense this day was to Jesus and his disciples. Lying in bed with my eyes closed I was taken back to moments of denial, hatred, weakness, love, truth, humility, fear, and many other emotions. I did not realize until today how emotionally infused each step to the cross was for Jesus and His Father. My heart was opened in ways I cannot express. Being such an emotional person myself, I couldn't believe that I had never taken the time to view this day through emotion. Maybe I was not ready for the experience or too afraid; however, now that I have experienced the past through emotion, I am driven to worship and glorify even more than ever before.
The question I keep alluding to is when is the last time you encountered Jesus in a personal way? Meaning, when is the last time you humbled yourself before an Almighty God and recognized His true character. This appointment with Jesus can be as simple as a revelation as I had this morning or a great pursuit or conviction. Before this morning, I had been revisiting my past and pondering when the last time I experienced God in a way that was unforgettable... The first thing I thought of was when I made the decision to go to Liberty University. I can remember pursuing the Lord in a way that I hadn't in months and there in my bedroom I felt the undeniable peace of God. I remember praying, crying, and feeling my heart become soft towards God's love and next steps of my life. My choice to attend LU will forever have an impact upon my life. I am so grateful I didn't apply to any other colleges because, at that time, I was still fighting God and if given the opportunity I may have made another choice.
Continuing in my reminiscing, there were many times at college that I landed face first before the Lord and let it all out...emotions, stress, sin, fears, mistakes, my past. As I ventured back to graduation, my internship, the adventure in CA, my current circumstances, I thought to myself... when is the last time I felt like I did before and at Liberty?... have I encountered Jesus in an extreme memorable time in the past two years? Stewing in the realization that I hadn't really had a "life changing" experiencing in a while, another truth came to me.
Just like this morning when I experienced the story of Jesus in a different light, I have been experiencing/encountering my Savior, it has just been a little more calm (for lack of better words). As I mentioned in the beginning, I am emotionally driven. Yet, in this current season, I am realizing that my emotions are broken, meaning the anxiety and fears I struggle with are due to a loss of control. Therefore, God is not going to bring about an extreme encounter because it would bring more fear into my heart than renew. All the other great encounters I revisited besides this morning were full of emotional conviction, mental hard ache, and an extreme grant of control to Jesus. Within my current circumstances, God is graciously redeeming me little by little instead of all at once. Right now, the encounter in my life is split up into small segments instead of huge pieces.
The encounter will look different to each of us. You may still be figuring it out or know exactly what it looks like. Either way God is still working and encountering.