Updated: Nov 14, 2022
Hello! It's has been quite a few weeks since I've written a blog post. Honestly, my heart hasn't been in it. My life has gone from smooth sailing (as smooth as any life can be), to complete chaos. I've lost my drive to keep moving forward and have been choosing to live in defeat. It was, of course, a slow process like any down hill slide can be. Thank goodness this time I slid with the hope that God would come with me, instead of my usual response of, "I will climb back up by myself." The fact pride has not been chosen and instead a heart of humility, is a HUGE stepping stone for me. Yet, here I am muddled. The truth is, I haven't been acting in prideful ways but if I am not being stubborn and self absorbed, how do I react to my chaos? How do I react to change? Growth is an amazing thing but it is discovering how to operate in your growth that can be quite challenging. Psh, change in general is challenging!
To give you a little background to my current state of change: my pastor of 24 years (my whole life) just retired, God graciously called me to stay in WV even longer, I have taken over the kid's programs at my church, responsibilities have doubled within service to the church, my counselor has been on maternity leave, one of my bosses resigned, the great attempt of maintaining friendships, figuring out how to accept a loss of a friend or three, and I could go on and on.... I'm sure you have a list as long as mine, or even longer. I don't share to overwhelm you or get sympathy, just to make my life as relatable as possible. Everyone's social media and even many encounters with someone can be pleasant but the battle within them can be so real and even be defeating them.
There are a number of reasons I have chosen to write this blog series, but let me be completely honest, the number one reason is because I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired! I am so done with losing and being confused. I refuse to let all of this change take me backward instead of forward. The past TWO big life changes I have been through, were NOT healthy or balanced in any way shape or form. Therefore, I am choosing to do it right this time! My goal: choose God first then figure out how He can help endure the change and chaos. If we were conquering change correctly, there would be no chaos because God isn't chaos but a stable, all knowing, peaceful God. So if you are ready to conquer, KEEP READING! If not? Get your mind ready then.... KEEP READING!
The responses to change are quite endless, but many people fall into one of these categories: Fear, Complaining & Fussing, Fight & Avoid, Frustration, Overwhelmed, or there are the few who actually Face & Embrace. Over the next 6 weeks we will be diving deep into each response. Some may be super relatable. Others may not apply to you. Or you may be like me and relate to every single one (except Face & Embrace). The desire is to bring clarity to where you currently are on your journey of conquering change, what response you are currently living in. Then, we shall navigate through the response. Finally, we will continue on the progression to our next response until Face & Embrace is where we can fully reside with balance and stability.
In order to really begin to heal and find freedom from change, we must FIRST be able to recognize the changes that are happening. For me, this looked like writing each change down I could not accept and working on being able to admit that they were happening. The next thing I did was tell a couple people my brokenness (one or two of my deep, aching pains that were related to my current change). Being honest and genuine with certain trustworthy friends is a great way to let out what you need to, process the change out loud, and to gain warriors alongside you. Being honest with God is another great way to begin finding freedom in the change. Yes, He technically already knows.....BUT, there is simply something about letting Him directly into your broken that is so relieving.
Some other quick tips are: letting yourself cry, accept that it is okay to feel this way about change, write a change or two down then put it up on your mirror (this means you have to embrace it each day), choose to do fun things, plan events and stick to them, do one thing you love a week or a day in the midst of your change and chaos, and last but certainly not least remember to BREATH!
Side note: Here are some people in the Bible who experienced GREAT change, and either embraced it, failed it, or a little it of both.
Mary: Luke 26
Young wealthy man: Matthew 19:16-22
Abraham: Genesis 12:1-3
YOU GOT THIS! YOU will be FREE! You will CONQUER CHANGE!